For Casey Dunstan, eating indefinitely gave her a “false sense of control”.
After enduring a series of traumatic events, the Fletcher woman struggled with anorexia nervosa and extreme laxative abuse for about seven years.
At her worst, she weighed just 26.9 kilograms before being admitted to hospital.
“The turning point was when mum turned up at my home one day,” she tells Newcastle Weekly.
“Being thin, you’re always very cold and self-conscious; I hadn’t shown any part of my body from my ankles to my waist.
“I didn’t know mum was coming and it was one of those really hot days, so I was just in my nightie.
“When you’re 26.9 kilograms, there’s nothing of you and all she could see was my collar bone; just bones everywhere.
“It was a skeleton standing in front of her.”
Casey’s weight was so low that she also suffered from poor circulation, which turned her skin a shade of purple and blue.
She was admitted to hospital and started the road to recovery, something she confessed to being “pushed into” at that moment.
Eighteen months later, the now 27-year-old is close to finishing a degree in law and social science.
Casey believes there needs to be more awareness for people with anorexia.
She added the mental illness was not only about retraining the body, but also the mind.
“People see it as a vain thing and materialistic – it’s all about being skinny – but there’s so much more to it than that,” she said.
“I wasn’t happy when I was skinny, I didn’t look at myself and think I looked great.
“We’re not just being selfish or vain; it’s hard to live every day when you’re aching and have no energy.
“I think my recovery took so long because you’re so scared of what will happen when you eat.”
Casey argued treatment should stop focusing solely on weight, while she claimed recovery resources were hard to find in Australia.
“Weight isn’t the only thing about being anorexic – people need to stop thinking that you’ve got to be at this certain weight before you are worthy of treatment,” she said.
“There’s this ‘get the weight up, then she’ll be fine’ [attitude].”
Casey will share her story on episode three of Channel 10’s show Taboo, which airs tonight (Thursday 27 June) at 8.40pm.
If you need help, visit thebutterflyfoundation.org.au, call the national hotline on 1800 334 673 or phone Lifeline on 13 11 14.
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