As a police officer’s wife, Mel Burgess is used to feeling the fear of a late night phone call or the worry that comes with living with a first responder.
Twice across his 19-year career with NSW Police, her husband’s workplace has called to say he has been assaulted or involved in a critical incident at work and would be needing significant care when he arrived home.
Mel is a parenting mentor and mother-of-two.
After being “rattled” by a recent spate of attacks on her husband’s profession, she has opted, through her work at Newcastle-based business ‘Love Parenting’, to draw on her training and experience to create a video offering basic tips for families coping with crisis.
“Parenting is hard enough,” Mel said.
“Parenting while blindsided from a bad-news phone call is a whole other level.
“I wanted to put something together for parents to be able to refer to, organise their thoughts, and sail their family into smoother waters.
“Research tells us that how we respond in the 72 hours following a traumatic event is key to how long-lasting its effect on us will be.
“What our kids learn across that time and the weeks afterwards will shape the way they respond to future challenges they are dealt with.
“I’m hoping people will save the video into their phone notes and send it on when they hear of a friend or colleague dealing with a situation of crisis.”
Mel’s ‘Parenting Through Crisis’ video is based around three key tips for ‘resetting’ following a traumatic incident.
“Number one: prioritise your nervous systems; number two: you actually know more than you think (it’s just hard to access it while you feel so flooded); and number three: keep meeting everyone wherever they are at.”
With over 13 years’ experience supporting parents, Mel knows that having strategies to refer to relieves elements of stress.
“As parents, our emotional cups are already at capacity,” she said.
“And, with COVID-related schooling, redundancy, health and financial stress layered on top of the usual load, lots of families are currently operating in a constant state of hyperarousal.
“This means that, when significant events occur, they may need to work harder or for longer in order to reset as individuals and as a family.”
“When big things happen, it can really help to know that you have permission to slow down and re-calibrate.”
‘Parenting Through Crisis’ is a resource for any parent in the thick of any crisis, and is available now on Love Parenting Newcastle’s Facebook page.
